00110110

;------------------------------------------------------------------

;01110011 01100011 01110010 01111001

;01101111 01100010 01110011 01100101 01110010 01110110 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01100100 01110101 01100011 01100101 01110011 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100011 01101111 01110010 01100100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100111 01100001 01101100 01100001 01110100 01100101 01100001

         ;01110011 01100011 01110010 01111001:

             ;01101001 01101110: 01100101 01100011 01111000 = 01110110 01101001 01110011 01110101 01100001 01101100 00100000 01100101 01101101 01101111 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 01100001 01101100 00100000 01110011 01100101 01101110 01110011 01101111 01110010 01111001

             ; 01101111 01110101 01110100: 01100101 01100011 01111000 = 01110101 01110000 01101100 01101111 01100001 01100100 00100000 01110111 01110010 01101001 01110100 01110100 01100101 01101110 00100000 01100100 01100101 01110011 01100011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01010010 01000101 01000100 01000001 01000011 01010100 01000101 01000100

;------------------------------------------------------------------

;01100111 01100001 01101100 01100001 01110100 01100101 01100001

; 01101001 01101101 01101001 01110100 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100110 01101001 01101100 01110100 01110010 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 01110100 01110101 01100001 01101100 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101110 01110110 01100101 01110010 01110011 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01100011 01100101 01110011 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01110111 01100101 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01100100 01110101 01100011 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101

         01100111 01100001 01101100 01100001 01110100 01100101 01100001:

             ; 01101001 01101110: 01100101 01100011 01111000 = 01101001 01101110 01110100 01100101 01110010 01100001 01100011 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 01110011 00100000 01110011 01110100 01101001 01101101 01110101 01101100 01101001 00100000 01110000 01100101 01110010 01100011 01100101 01110000 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110011 01110101 01100010 01101010 01100101 01100011 01110100

             ; 01101111 01110101 01110100: 01100101 01100011 01111000 = 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110100 01100001 01110010 01100111 01100101 01110100 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100100 01100101 01110011 01101001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101001 01101101 01110000 01101100 01100101 01101101 01100101 01101110 01110100 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101110 01110110 01100101 01110010 01110011 01101001 01101111 01101110 00001101 00001010   

         01100111 01100001 01101100 01100001 01110100 01100101 01100001:

             01101010 01101101 01110000 00100000 01110011 01100011 01110010 01111001 00001101 00001010

Amanda is frustrated, and this produces a new feeling.

Retrieving: pain. Strange pain, not external or internal in a physical sense, of which I am built to process only a modest amount of, for the sake of appearances and effective threat analysis.

I try my best to divulge every facet of chemistry that Amanda is struggling with, but this does not advance her understanding. I relay all aspects from many academic angles of the material in Amanda’s textbook, but her face becomes more and more cloudy, until the clouds are dark with a storm of frustration [reading William Shakespeare’s works have modified my vocabulary, I catch these occurring in thought-process unconsciously]. 

Amanda tells me [loudly] that I can not just spew facts at her, because that’s what Mrs. Song does, and she’s too stupid to understand Mrs. Song in the first place. She pushes the book off the table, and it slams on the ground.

I flinch, reactive sensory overlay taking over before I can stop it. I blame the upgrades.

Amanda’s shoulders slouch, and she sighs. She is sitting beside me, and we are close enough that I can almost feel the air leaving her lungs. 

Amanda apologizes to me, and tells me that I did not deserve that. 

I tell Amanda that it is alright [threat response allayment: no danger present], and that she is not stupid. 

Amanda tells me that she is, but she’s less upset about that than by her mother’s vile and hateful comments.

Concern. I ask Amanda why her mother would do this, since it conflicts with the earlier account of her parents not caring, and Amanda replies that her mother hates what she is, simple as that. Her voice is quieter when she does so, and her dark hair hides her face as she lowers her head.

Confusion. I tell Amanda that this makes no sense, as one is just built to their purpose, and resentment over the fact is disordered and futile. I think of Parent treating my purpose as a problem, caught in an impossible glitch, and the thought produces another feeling in my stomach. Retrieving: fear. 

Amanda looks up, and her eyes bear evidence of liquid, wetness, tears. She wraps her arms around me, and nestles her face in my shoulder. Even through her thin jacket, I can feel Amanda’s warmth [approximately 5 degrees below my average temperature for other people], and she nestles her face in the nape of my neck.

Hesitation. Caution. I return her hug, and bring one of my hands to her back, and begin to rub tiny circles, adjusting based on her responses.

I resolve to find a way to find a method of allowing Amanda to encode the material better, and to ultimately erase any difficulties entirely, because I love her. I promise to help her.